Yep, you read that right! I am planning on being selfish in 2015 and making it all about me! Well, in my own, non-selfish way :).
I spent 2014 (and a little of 2013) making it all about my boy. And that was the exact right thing to do! But after he moved out, I really hit a funk…a little bit of hurt, a lot of sadness, and a pinch of anger. I really, really miss him on a daily basis and have struggled to figure out how to handle it. I spend a lot of time watching train-wreck tv, crying in silence, and arguing with my hubs over silly things because I just don’t know how to tell people how I really feel. I guess it makes sense to have all those feelings, but no one really truly understands unless you have stood in my shoes. And I am just not up for feeling judged right now….so I kept it all in.
So what did that mean? It meant that my health goals went in the crapper, my eating took a turn for the worse, my faith was shaken (I know it shouldn’t, but I am only human), and my work hasn’t been up to my standards because my mind has been all fuzzy. In 2015 this is going to change!
I have decided to make a few goals for the new year – not resolutions – goals.
1. Be true to you – I am going to stop worrying about how other people may feel about every word I say and every thing I do. I am going to do what is best for me, my family, and what makes me happy. I have never in my life done something with malice or hard feelings towards someone else, and I won’t start now. So I have to understand that if people want to take things personally, or read more into something than is really there, then they will have to work out those feelings on their own. I will be happy to clear things up for anyone willing to ask. I will be happy to tell them, “It’s not about you…it’s me!” I will spend time with people who lift me up in my journey, not bring me down. I will continue to love my family and friends with all my heart…putting my husband first above all others!
2. Get Healthy and STOP with the excuses – I am going to work on overall health. I will dive into yoga – because I like it! I will continue to strengthen my running – and who knows, maybe even grow to love it! I will eat better – more fresh, less junk. And if all that comes with a little weight loss, then awesome. If not, I am cool with that too. I want to be happy in my body and love my body enough to take care of it. I am not going to say “I am eating clean” or “I am going to loose 50 lbs” because honestly….I won’t. I won’t stick to it. I just want to be healthy…why? because it makes me happy. (See goal 1)
3. Work on fertility – stop being scared about that fact that having a baby will be harder for me than others. It’s ok. I will be a mother, and God has a plan for me. I just need to focus on my faith, and know that as long as I continue to move forward with the process, it will happen. I will continue to be happy (which I truly am) for all my friends that are being blessed with babies. I will stop taking it as a personal jab from the universe and know that my time will come. PS – I also think that’s why I have taken my boy’s moving out so hard.
And that’s it. My marriage is amazing. My friends and family are all happy and healthy. I am blessed with a beautiful home, an amazing career, financial stability, and really what else could I ask for!? 2015 is going to be an amazing year, with lots of amazingly positive big changes for everyone I love….I can feel it!
Looking forward to the ride with you!